Matthew Sanford's Waking: A Memoir of Trauma & Transcendence

Would you know from looking at this picture of Matthew Sanford practicing yoga that he is disabled?

Matthew is paralized from T4 downward due to a tragic car accident that occurred when he was just 13 years old. Yet not only does he go on to practice yoga but actually is a yoga teacher. 

In his book Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence, Matthew Sanford describes the tragic event that changed the course of his life forever. He speaks of the numerous and painful surgeries that he endured and how his mind-body connection not only helped him through but opened him up to his new physical body.

"The splendor and subtlety of living is most apparent in the conscious prescence of the silence"

He describes his journey through yoga as "backwards". Most westerners move through the asanas or poses to get to silence, Matthew's silence allowed his mind to guide him into the poses which his body could not feel.

" alignment and precision increase mind-body integration regardless of paralysis. The mind is not strictly confined to a neurophysiological connection with the body. If I listen inwardly to my whole experience (both my mind's and my body's), my mind can feel into my legs".

Even though Matthew may not be able to physically do every pose it does not hinder him from teaching to students of all levels.

"I can "feel" the pose, feel how the physical instructions are intended to amplify, guide, and direct the flow of energy. When I teach, I give instructions and then I observe not just whether the physical actions are occuring, but also whether the intended energetic release is happening through the student's mind-body relationship. If the energy of the pose is not flowing correctly, I can often adjust the student and enhance his or her experience."

"...follow the energetic flow of a pose which allows me to see and feel the corresponding physical movements. This helps me to feel the heart of yoga despite my limited access to its physical movements. I can feel the pose's inner workings, its focus."

These two quotes above to me are the mark of an amazing teacher. I find that I utilize the mind-body connection of assuming my student's action in my own body to visualize and sense what is going on in their body and then make changes accordingly. It really matters very little when teaching what or how a pose or exercise looks or occurs in my own body.

I truly found his book and story inspirational. It is a story not only about movement, but about your outlook on life, the stories we tell ourselves to get through trauma, the amazing power of our minds and thoughts, and moving through life without limits.

To quote Matthew W. Sanford:

"Is yoga going to make all of my hardship go away? Of course not- my life is going to be hard. But without these difficulties, I would not be who I am."

Life after the Ranch and back to reality

Arrived home after spending an amazing week of teaching at Rancho La Puerta. I met so many wonderful people of all ages and walks of life. It was like an adult summer camp filled with health, peace, emotional well being, exercise, nature, and pampering.

Although the weather in Tecate last week was not as warm as I was hoping for. The experience at the Ranch fulfilled all my hopes and desires. Most days started with an early morning hike through the mountains. Chatting with new friends and convening with nature. A healthy breakfast would follow with lots of fresh fruit, oatmeal, quinoa, eggs and even pancakes one morning. A nice warm cup of tea with a spoonful of agave warmed me up to teach.

Every day I taught a 9am Pilates Level 1 and a 10am Pilates Level 2. Tuesday and Thursday afternoons I also taught a level 2 Reformer class.It was a progressive series adding fundamentals and exercises every day. The clients were so fabulous. Open to learning something new or in a new way and making deep, internal changes in their bodies daily. I was so appreciative of their willingness and trust to explore with me every day. Each one of them was truly a gift to me.

Once my morning classes where finished, I had plenty of time to explore the ranch and take some classes on my own. Some of my favorites were Nia with Maya, Hulu Hoop with Hazel, Cardio Drumming with Miguel, and Release and Mobilize with Diane. I also tried a water class (which I have never done before). I felt a bit uncoordinated and retarded but was open to newness and got a great workout from Craig. I also explored some sound classes and some pampering treatments.

The Ranch's healthy spa cuisine left me feeling full and inspired to try adding some different things to my diet. So many wonderful meals and I ate all of them and actually lost 4lbs. Mostly what I will take away from the diet is to eat some complex carbs for breakfast like quinoa or rice with some fruit. Normally at home I eat carbs like bread for breakfast. Not anymore. As a whole there really was not a lot of bread in the menus. Lots of fresh vegetable soups and salads with toasted nuts and fruit slices and then a dinner of items like fresh fish, vegetarian lasagna, stir fry, enchiladas. Are you getting the picture that I ate and ate well?

Some evenings were filled with fun events like Bingo with Barry. This is definitely not to be missed. Hilarious. Fun. A bit raunchy. A good time had by all. Friday evening had a live band and dancing. A blast and a perfect way to end the week with all my new friends and students.

I truly enjoyed every minute at the Ranch. I feel rejuvenated, refreshed, invigorated, inspired, and at peace. I hope to be asked back in the future to Present again, as I would truly like to make Rancho La Puerta at least a yearly event.

Gratitude & Goodbye: 2010 The Year in Review

Wow! 2010 has come and is on it's way out. Thank God!!

I know that I am not alone in thinking that 2010 has been an extremely challenging and difficult year. My motto for 2010 has many times been "That which doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger".  Let me say I am ALIVE and STRONG! I like to think that we are only presented with what we can handle and that there are lessons to be learned from extreme difficulties. That said....I am ready to close out 2010 and welcome a fresh start to 2011 with hope, optimism, and positivity.  

I wish all of you a happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year! May it be filled with joy, love, laughter, friends, fortune, knowledge, growth, and complete fulfillment of your dreams and desires.

Watch out 2011, here we come!!

Checking in on Resolutions Made...

Every year I wrtie a list of things that I would like to work on throughout the year. Checking in on what I wrote last year, I was surprised to find how successful I was. For me, writing something down puts it out there and holds me a little bit more accountable.

Here was my 2010 Resolution List:

1. Build my business and network with social media. Research, dream, and aspire towards my 5 year plan and business dream.
2. Move towards a Vegan diet at 3-4 days/week
3. Healthy workout plan: 2-3 day yoga, 3-4 days cardio, 1-2 days weight training, 3-4 days Pilates
4. Financial Health
5. Love myself enough to find a partner to share my life, hopes, and dreams with
6. Start planning trip to Greece
7. Plan a Pilates retreat for winter 2011.

Definitely did #1, #2, #3 (so-so numbers were a little lower) and #7 (happening Feb 19-26, 2011). YEAH!!

#4 Financial health a little harder to attain this year, but I am still working on it and looking into options to move forward in that direction for 2011. #5 suffered. Hard to put myself out there to find a partner when I was so focused on business, finances, and trying to stay afloat myself. A sinking boat needs a life raft, not another person hanging onto them. #6 Got the books. Started reading and dreaming. Alas, no finances and wasn't emotionally in a place of travel as I was struggling with my last moments with my 13 year old Golden Madison. :(

All in all I did accomplish quite a lot of what I put out to do in this challenging year. I am looking forward to the closing of this year. I am optimistic about 2011 and what it may hold. Starting to put together my resolution list for this year. The ones I didn't accomplish will make a repeat as well as a few new ones. 

What did you accomplish this year that you are proud of? What did you miss this year that you would like to retry? What are some of your resolutions or goals for the upcoming year of 2011?

*Not sure what this means but I just referred to next year as "2012" throughout the entire post and had to go back and edit it read "2011". LOL! Hopefully not a forecast as to what is to come.

Winter Escape

Retreat:

A place affording peace, quiet, privacy, or security.

This February, find tranquility, peace, and warmth, while enjoying your physical surroundings and pampering your body and soul. I have always found Retreats to be most beneficial to my body and mind. When I allow myself the well deserved time and utmost priority I can come back to my business, clients and family a better me. Well rested, reflective, meditated, nurtured, inspired, invigorated, and fed both spiritually and physically.

There are many places that offer Yoga and spiritual retreats, however I had a hard time finding a space that inhabited a full Pilates studio as well as a beautiful retreat space. I wanted to be able to offer Pilates Mat Classes, as well as Group Reformer and Private Sessions. And in this economic time, make it as affordable as possible without spending a ton on travel to a foreign country. Rancho La Puerta is just that place. Located in Tecate, Mexico. Rancho La Puerta is the perfect retreat spot, even voted by Travel & Leisure's 2010 voters as a Best Destination Spa. With it being located about an hour outside of San Diego, California residents would even be able to drive to the resort without any air fare.

Currently living in Chicago, winter and cold last a good portion of the year. By the February month I am ready for an escape and rejuvenation to get me through until May, when Chicago finally starts to warm up.

This February join me at Rancho La Puerta for either a 4-day or 7-day retreat. Visit www.pilalates.com for more info. Hope to see you there!

Tis better to Give than Receive

An old saying that has never been more relevant. In these hard economic times (for some) it is important to remember to support, share, and aid those less fortunate. Try making giving a new tradition for your family. Teach your children and loved ones how important it is to help those less fortunate, to appreciate what they have, and start a new holiday tradition. The joy of helping someone can be so fulfilling and better than any box found under your menorah or holiday tree. Here are a few ways of giving available in most communities.

Toys for Tots

"Toys for Tots is a program run by the United States Marine Corps Reserve, which donates toys to children whose parents cannot afford to buy them gifts for the Holiday season. Founded in 1947."

Have your children help shop for and go with you to the donation site to get involved and see what the organization is all about. 

PAWS Chicago

"PAWS Chicago is the city's largest NO KILL humane organization, focused on implementing solutions to end the killing of homeless pets. Founded in 1997, the number of homeless dogs and cats killed annually has dropped more than 50 percent. PAWS Chicago will find new homes for more than 4,000 homeless pets in 2010 through their state-of-the-art Adoption and Humane Center. This cageless Adoption Center provides homeless pets with the care and dignity they deserve."

There are many ways to give to PAWS either through donations or volunteering your time. I highly encourage you to visit their site. If choosing to donate funds, I encourage you to take a trip with your family or friends to the Adoption center to see where your funds are going and experience this amazing organization.

I have donated money on several occasions to PAWS and volunteered walking and playing with dogs and the facility. It is a truly rewarding experience and brought me my Logan who I adopted on Mothers Day 2009. 

If you're not in Chicago find an animal shelter in your area or donate nationally at ASPCA.

Greater Chicago Food Depository

"The Food Depository distributes 66 million pounds of food, including more than 12.8 million pounds of produce, to 650 pantries, soup kitchens and shelters in Cook County. Nearly 142,000 men, women and children turn to the Food Depository's network each week, and nearly 678,000 people turn to the network annually."

You can choose to volunteer and/or donate. This holiday season this is the charity of my choice. Over Thanksgiving I participated in a Food Drive with a FREE Mat class on Thanksgiving day and I have extended my work with them through the holiday with a virtual food drive. Click here to donate online through my virtual food drive.

Hope this gives you some great ideas of how to give more this holiday season. The reward of knowing that you helped a child, family, or animal is the best gift you and your family can receive. If you have a favorite charity or organization that you like to support during the holiday season, please feel free to list it below in the comment section. Happy Holidays!

Give a little love

On November 19th I attended a Dharma and Meditation workshop hosted by Wade Gotwals at Nature Yoga Sanctuary.  The evening was led by Buddhist monk Kelsang Dorje. "His humorous approach to challenging life subjects will truly give you the tools to change your perception and change your life".

The evening started with some light pranayama (breathing) and yoga to prepare our bodies to sit, led by Wade and then Kelsang Dorje spoke on life. Our life is based on our perceptions, we all are intertwined, and how to live in love. Our worlds are based on our own experiences and perceptions. If you see the world through rose colored glasses it will be a rose colored world. Knowing this it is easy to change the way you choose to see and experience the world. Kelsang Dorje compares it to a hot coal. If someone were to throw a hot coal to you and you catch it, you would choose to drop it immediately because it burns. And the next time someone threw a hot coal at you, you wouldn't even reach to grab it. However, so many times in life we choose to carry or hold onto this hot coal as we move through life. He relates this to carrying negative thoughts, images, experience and perceptions. We need to learn the lesson and make the choice to drop the coal and not pick it up again.

He spoke on "love". That to love someone basically means to wish them happiness and an end to suffering. That there is no limit to the amount of love we have to give or receive. Therefore why not give love to everyone. Wouldn't the world be a much nicer place to move about if while passing people in the world they were sending love to you and you to them. Yes, there are different types of love and different karmic connections which allow us to relate deeper to one another but the basic feeling of love is the same. When you look at it from this point to love someone doesn't mean you have to agree with them, approve of their actions, or want them to become your best friend or lover. It just means that you wish them happiness. Seems easy enough, right? Easy to do when you are in the community that is supporting that common good, much harder to do in the busy city when someone has just cut you off. There is the challenge. When that person cuts you off, can you take a deep breath and wish them happiness and an end to their suffering. Choosing to see that maybe they really do need to get somewhere before you. Or at least not let it be the hot coal that you carry around for the rest of your day passing along to others. Instead of tossing or carrying the coal, the challenge is to carry or pass the love.

I thoroughly enjoyed meeting Kelsang Dorje and hearing his teachings. I am trying to meditate more throughout my week and move through the world with love in my heart. 

If you would like to experience Kelsang Dorje and his teachings. Here are a few of his upcoming workshops and website. For more info and upcoming events visit www.meditateinchicago.org

Believing Karma: The Power to Change our life

Oak Park

Vajrayana Kadampa Buddhist Center

13 Harison St, Oak Park 60304

Mondays, 7-8:30pm

November 1 - December 13

Lakeview

Center on Halsted

3656 N. Halsted St Room #202

Chicago, IL 60313

Tuesdays, 7-8:30pm

November 2 - December 14

Feel free to drop into any class. Everyone is welcome. $10/class

The Blessing Empowerment of Enlightened Mother Arya Tara

Saturday, December 4, 2010

10am-5pm

Cost: $65 (includes light vegetarian lunch)

Vajrayana Kadampa Buddhist Center

13 Harrision Street

Oak Park, IL 60304

To register for this special event email info@meditateinchicago.org or call 708.763.0132

Small Changes

Resolutions can be a great way to set a goal for yourself, however more times than not we fail our resolutions. The Dictionary defines a resolution as the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.  Why not take baby steps towards a bigger goal with small changes?  For me I am not good with change. I find drastic changes uncomfortable and I end up failing because I am unable to sit with the abrupt uncomfortableness. However, I notice that if I ease myself into the change my rate of success is much higher. 

Last year I made a New Year's resolution to eat more of a Vegan lifestyle.  At first I cleared out all my cupboards and refrigerator of any non-Vegan items and replaced them.  I was going to go completely Vegan from being mostly Vegetarian (I did eat fish on occasion).  My intentions were good, however it was too big of a change for me to make all at once. I now follow a Vegan diet 3-5 days/week.  I allow myself to indulge when I am outside of my home at a friends house or restaurant, as I find it  too hard to explain and substitute. I am already a picky eater to begin with and I don't want to insult a friend or server. By making the change smaller it made me feel more comfortable and allowed me to actually fulfill my resolution.

Same is true with the "Losing weight" resolution so many people make each year.  Everyone starts off rearing to go in January and by February is already off the wagon.  Make small movements towards your goal and you may find that you have more stamina to go all the way. For example, if you lead a predominately sedentary life and decide that you are going to go to the gym everyday, the odds are you are going to fail.  Why not start small? Schedule yourself in for 3 workouts for the week. Try to vary what you are doing and find something that you enjoy doing.  Make it fun, something you look forward to, a workout date with a friend, and most importantly put it on your calendar like you would any other important appointment.

It's okay to know what your "end goal" is but be sure to honor and appreciate the small steps that you have accomplished along the way. You'll be more apt to stay on target and achieve your ultimate resolution. Even a small change (no matter how small) deserves recognition.  You may even be surprised when you reach your resolution how much easier it was to get there. Small change adds up to BIG results.

Pilates saved my life...literally.

Madison hiking in beautiful Aspen.

My motto is that "Pilates is not just an exercise regimen but a way of life". Nothing became more true on November 22, 2006, the day before Thanksgiving.

I was living and working in Aspen, CO. It was a beautiful morning and with the holiday had a light schedule at the studio.  I was planning to go into town to teach and then come back and take my Golden Retriever, Madison, on a nice afternoon hike. Maddie tried several times to jump into the back of my Honda CRV and come to work with me. I kept rationalizing whether or not to let her come with me or leave her at home. Three separate times I pulled her out of the car, deciding (thankfully) to leave her at home. I packed up the car with laundry. Had my morning coffee in hand, NPR on the radio, and headed down the mountain around dawn.

It was a beautiful Colorado morning.  And the road conditions were very clear.  As I was making my way slowly down the mountain to the studio the sun was beginning to come up. I made my way down the windy roads and as I was coming down a section noticed that there was something forming a shadow ahead in my lane.  As I proceeded closer I realized that someone had hit a deer in the middle of the night and left it in the road.  I slowly looked into my rear and side view mirror and proceeded to veer to the right lane to avoid the carcass. I thought that I had cleared the animal, when all of a sudden I felt my car tip towards the right, lifting the driver side of my car off the pavement. Calmly I leaned my weight gently to the left, hoping to plant the car back down on the road safely.  Unfortunately, what I did not realize was that the animal was a buck and it's antlers had popped my front, left tire as I was changing lanes. So, when I dropped the car down by leaning my weight there was no air in that tire.  My car began to roll over and spin. It flipped three times. I know this as I counted "floor, sky" as the car flipped.

I was completely conscious and active as the car flipped and spun seemingly around me.  Once I realized the car was flipping my Pilates immediately kicked in instinctively. I locked my arms out on the steering wheel with my hands at 3 and 9. Drawing my shoulder blades and pelvis into the seat. With those stabilized and the wheel locked out I drew into my center pulling my core and body into the seat and breathed.  The car literally felt like it was moving around me.  I was fully conscious. Thinking that "if this was my time to go I had no regrets, couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day or place to spend my last minutes, and hoping that my parents would take good care of Madison."  Then the car came to a stop, upright. I took a deep breath. "Did I make it? Was I alive? Or was I having an out of body experience and was looking back on myself?"  I took another deep breath, put the car in park, unbuckled my seat belt, and opened the door to step out.

Two onlookers on the other side of the road where running across the median at this point and stopped dead in their tracks when they saw me step out of the vehicle. I was shaky, but coherent enough to realize that my laundry, skivvies and all were strewn across the highway and immediately began gathering them up. The onlookers were now at my side telling me to sit down. It was at that moment that I saw my car for the first time. The front window and roof had separated, the side door was dented in, and the glass from all the back windows and hatch were completely blown out.  I had not a scratch or cut on me! And miraculously NO INJURIES! And someone had to have been looking out for Madison as there is no way she would have survived that accident.

The principles of Pilates like centering, breathing, concentration, and stabilization kicked in when I needed them most. That feeling of being present and connected to my body and breath just took over immediately. It is because of these that I was able to stay calm and instinctively do what needed to happen to allow me to survive and be able to fully live my life to its best potential to do this day.  Pilates is not just an exercise regimen, it was my way to life that day.

This was written as a guest blog for Pilates Body NYC.